Introductions...

her Heart...
I am an educated black woman. I am a believer in love. I believe in love at first sight...I knew I would marry my husband when I met him first. Maybe that's my kryptonite...it's the thing I work hardest for in life, when "he" thinks I should focus more on me...I don't know, seems at times like I can never get it right!?!?

But...I love being married and I can't imagine any other life. I at times wish I would've had my 20's to date and experience life, but then I look at all my peers who are single, dating and lonesome and I thank God again for what I have!

Being in a relationship is hard work. It is a full time job to please your mate and your children and it's dang near impossible to have any focus on yourself. A lot of my blogs will come from that perspective. I'm a career oriented woman. I am a teacher trying to become an administrator so a bulk of my time is consumed by my career. While "he" thinks I need to build "me" up; what he fails to realize is that I don't have time for "me"! I'd rather give my free time to "he" and the kids than to be selfishly thinking of me all the time. There is also the hurt of my past and the ugly spirit of yesterday that continually creeps into my today. My husband wasn't always the man that he is today, I've been hurt to the point of leaving it all behind; but I always stayed resilient and somehow I endured and managed to stay by his side...that's just who I am. I'm a believer in relationships. We made it through the storm and 5 years ago decided to make it official. Now that we've said those vows, my love and spirituality won't let me look back. I said "through thick and thin" and that's what I meant. No drama, baby mamas, money, or jealous females will put a wedge in what we have! I said, "until death do us part" and that's exactly what I meant!

So you've heard the ugly, well you might say, "So how can they think they have a successful marriage with all those issues?" Well, what we have works! There is nothing like laughing with your mate at the end of the day. Eating family dinner every night at the table and discussing your day. Playing board games with your children on the weekends. All the little things make life so enjoyable and rich each day. I wouldn't go back to being without him for a second! I have a GOOD MAN! My man is a provider, a lover, a friend! Despite what he's done in the past he is making it up in his present and I don't ever want to experience a day without my man by my side! I hope you enjoy this ride as we document and talk about life; unedited!! 




his Head...
I am me. a young black man ...trying to figure it all out  in a relationship (married with children) . like most black men  I grew up with out a father in my home so I have no example of what i am suppose to do or be. I am also a "baby daddy". So I guess u can say I am very crazy and need a lot of self counseling alot of my days...I grew up a single parent kid  just me and my mother. So I have alot of respect for woman , but in my younger days  I was a bit of a womanizer. Now I fight with the struggle between commitment and temptation everyday. As a father I enjoy myself and I do what it takes to be the best I can be to my ability. But it is never enough for the "baby mama" who in her eyes has it all figured out, but has multiple "babydaddies" and blame all of her issues on everyone else. Even though I try to give my wife everything I can, sometimes it just seems like I never can make her totally happy because as you can see I have a lot of energy directed in multiple directions...


As for my relationship... I think all relationships could be better. But in my case i think that me and my wife are so busy that we dont know how to get back to love and just flat out having fun again. And its seems so far away now that you have kids, bills, groceries, house, cars, work, not enough time and now that we are three kids in the game...confidence plays a big part. It seems weird that you can be together for ten years but not totally know everything about each other, you see we started dating young so from 18 to 30 it's alot of changes in your body and spirit. And forever is a long time. I don't regret my decision on marriage but I definitely think that you should really do a lot of soul searching until you make that choice.